


Friendly Fire

by Psyche or like scope (Daiya_Darko)



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: M/M, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:18:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Psyche%20or%20like%20scope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So much can go so wrong, and not just on a mission.<br/>[sequel to Mistakes]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Geminiocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geminiocean/gifts).



> This is for Geminiocean, who requested a sequel when I already felt like writing more.  
> I don't normally do multi-chaptered fics or sequels, so tell me if something sucks, okay? Okay.

“’Friendly fire’ is an oxymoron. Trust me, there is no such thing. This is a cute little term that can be used in polite company. Ask any soldier what it means and they’ll tell you it means “fucked up.” Man, let me tell you, that is exactly what it means. When someone higher than you in the food chain screws the pooch and you get placed in a bad situation with no support, you won’t be thinking in polite terms.”  
– Sgt. John G. Ford  
US Army  
October 2007

* * *

 

The dense smoke rolls through the trees, shrouding everything in a choking darkness. The sounds of gunfire rage on as the fire spreads, tree limbs falling like meteors from the sky.

For some, this would be their nightmare situation.

For The Losers, it’s just another job.

The mission was simple: go clean up a mess some bureaucrat in DC managed to scrounge up by destroying a compound. Through some hilariously awful lack of communication and intel, those “simple-minded thugs” managed to get the slip on them.

Thirty or so armed and dangerous men against five slightly neurotic yet just as trained men.

The only good thing they have going for them is that their mics still work, so they’re still in reach if they need assistance, although it might not come quickly if they can’t see.

Jensen fires swiftly to his right at the shifting in the bushes. He can hardly see from the blood in his eyes, and he’s not entirely sure if it’s even his. He shot a man at point-blank range earlier, but he also can’t feel his body. He’s operating on survival mode: shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out.

His movements are clean, quick, and precise; the tax-payer dollars that funded his training are properly being put to use for once. His head is empty as he changes the magazine, reloading his gun in less than three seconds with armor-piercing rounds. He just wants to manage to make it out of the forest before the fire gets to him, but he’s long-past lost. He’ll focus on re-grouping with the rest of his unit when he’s sure he’s not injured and running around in shock.

“Yo, I’ve got eyes on Jensen!” Pooch’s voice crackles over the comm.

“Jensen stand down!” Clay orders next. “We’re coming for you!”

But Jensen doesn’t acknowledge or give any indication that he’s heard them. He continues swiftly moving through the jungle, feeling the heat increase as the fire roars closer now. Another order is shouted, but Jensen doesn't hear. The shrubs and vines rustle for a moment, and before anyone can step out, Jensen fires off three shots. He knows he hit something, because there’s a cry of pain in Spanish in his comm and the sound of a thud.

“Mierda! Jensen you fucking bitch!” Cougar yells, and that snaps Jensen out of his daze.

“What? Cougar?” Jensen lowers his gun and looks around, finally locating the source of the sounds. He runs over, knocking back plants, and drops to his knees in shock when he sees the three distinct holes in Cougar’s vest and the growing dark stains.

“Cougar’s been hit!” Jensen shouts into his mic. “We gotta get out of here now!”

Clay, Pooch, and Roque all somehow come out of the shrubbery around them, guns trained on Jensen.

“Put your weapon on the ground, raise your hands above your head slowly, and step away from him, Jensen,” Clay commands, and his voice is deathly calm.

Jensen obliges quickly, albeit confused. “Colonel, what’s this about?”

Roque fixes him with a disgusted stare and switches off his safety. “I told you he was a nut, Clay. Let’s just get rid of him now.”

“We’re not getting rid of anyone,” Clay grumbles, picking up Jensen’s discarded weapons. “Son, you better pray to whichever god you choose that Cougar comes out of this, or you might be looking at a court martial.”

“Court martial?” Jensen blurts out. “But I didn’t do anything!”

“You shot Cougar, man!” Roque yells, gesticulating wildly at the sniper on the ground slowly bleeding out.

Jensen’s face pales. “I…I would _never_ shoot Cougar! I love Cougar!”

“Yeah right, we all know how you felt about him,” Roque sneers, but he flicks the safety on. “What do you think, Clay?”

“I think we need to get the fuck out of this jungle before we become jerky. Roque, watch Jensen. Pooch, help me get Cougar to the boat.”

Jensen follows along, wincing every time Roque jabs him in the back of the neck with the muzzle of his rifle, still hot from recent discharge. He watches helplessly as Clay tries to coax Cougar to stay awake, Pooch cracking jokes to keep him from focusing on the pain too much.

_Did I really shoot him?_ Jensen wonders, but before he can ask what’s going on again, they’re at the river, and Roque cuffs his hands behind his back with zip ties.

“I know how much you like using your hands, so I imagine this is going to be particularly painful for you,” Roque grins sadistically, and Jensen shrinks away from his touch.

“Look, I don’t know what was going on – “ He begins again, but Clay silences him with a quick slap across the face.

“Right now, you don’t say a damn thing. You don’t get to ask questions until we’re sure Cougar’s in the clear, do you hear me?”

Jensen nods solemnly.

“I know you have some built up resentment against Cougar because he dumped you or whatever, but shooting him – “

“I didn’t shoot him for that!” Jensen argues, and Clay punches him in the stomach.

“I told you not to speak!” Clay yells. “When one of you gets injured, it’s my responsibility! When you disobey an order and someone gets hurt, it reflects poorly on _me!_ You’ll be lucky if I don’t bring this to court martial, and God knows everyone’s been waiting for something like this to happen. We’re returning to camp, we’re going home, and you have officially put us all under investigation as well as brought to light this entire little event that was supposed to be off the record!” Clay finishes with a heavy sigh, walking away to collect his thoughts. “Load him in the boat. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

* * *

 

When they return to the States, Cougar is in critical, but stable condition. The bullets went through his armor (as they were designed to do so), and shattered his sternum, a rib, and one lodged itself precariously close to his heart. Pieces of shattered sternum ripped into his lung, and he almost died of suffocation.

He’s been in a coma for two weeks now, chemically induced to keep him from moving and risking more fragments of sternum to slide around. Operations are done in stages: get the bullet out, set the rib, fix the sternum.

Pooch and Roque visit him in the hospital frequently, while Clay tries to deal with the barrage of questioning superiors.

“How did you allow this to happen?”

“I thought you had better control of your unit!”

“You better figure out what to write on that medical chart in Sgt. Alvarez’s room, because if we let it get out that he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be, this is coming down on _your_ head!”

And Clay takes it like a pro, effortlessly dodging and answering questions as he’s learned. When he’s done for the day, he goes to check on Cougar, and then goes to the barracks to find Jensen and relieve some stress.

Jensen loathes stress relief. Stress relief means he becomes Clay’s punching bag for half an hour and he can’t defend himself or say anything. As far as he’s concerned, he deserves it. He has no friends now, and his CO hates him.

All because he couldn’t think straight when he needed to.

“Jensen, you’re not being court martialed,” Clay greets, and Jensen lets out a sigh of relief.

“A court martial means we admit we were supposed to be there. Instead, your punishment falls to me. Seeing how it looks like Cougar’s gonna make it, I’m not filing to have you dishonorably discharged.”

Jensen lets his head fall forward into his hands, and rubs his face tiredly. “Thank you so much, Colonel. I still feel like shit about the whole thing.”

“You should. And I’m not going to punish you; when Cougar wakes up, he can decide what to do about that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have paperwork to complete.” Clay turns to leave, stopping only when Jensen calls after him.

“Um, Colonel? You not gonna beat me up tonight?”

Clay shakes his head. “Don’t wanna injure my hands. Too much paperwork.” He leaves Jensen with a little smirk, and Jensen finds himself in an empty room surrounded by empty beds.

Beds he and his friends are supposed to share.

He wanders around base, lost now that he has nowhere to be and no one to see. He could try to see Roque, but Roque would most likely just try to skewer him. Pooch would be nicer with a simple, “go fuck yourself.”

Plus, they’re both probably visiting Cougar, and his stomach still turns when he imagines the sniper unconscious because of what he had done.

Jensen finds himself in the mess hall with a tray of nothing but mashed potatoes. Why did they have to come to Texas? He hates Kileen. There’s nothing to do here. Even El Paso would have been better, San Antonio ideal.

He can’t check out leave to go visit his sister, and anything interesting to do involves leaving the entire city, but he can’t be more than two hours away.

Jensen sighs into a bite of mashed potatoes and hopes for this all to blow over soon.

Lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice when Roque and Pooch sit down on either side of him until there’s a spoon reaching over into his tray.

“What are you guys doing here? I figured I’m the last person you want to see forever and a day,” Jensen mumbles.

Pooch scoops up some potatoes and chews thoughtfully. “We’ve been giving you the shitty silent treatment, yes, but you were in shock, Jensen. That kind of situation, that much pressure? You were on auto-pilot. It’s okay; happens to everyone.”

“What, you shot your own team member?” Jensen snorts.

“I stabbed Pooch when he snuck up on me after a bad mission in Cambodia,” Roque explains. “Jolene still gives me a burning side eye for it.”

“I’m guessing that was before I came along.”

“Yeah. Before you came along, Cougar almost shot the head clean off of Clay. Fortunately, the rifle jammed.”

Jensen’s mouth falls open slightly in shock. “Then why am I getting such a hard time?”

“Oh, you thought you were getting a hard time?” Pooch laughs. “Cougar couldn’t chew solid food for two weeks.”

“Okay, so is this ‘accidentally almost killing each other’ thing part of being with the group?”

“Pretty much,” Roque confirms, patting Jensen on the back. “Now let’s get out of here and get a drink, yeah? Way too much stress. Cougar’s gonna be fine, we now know you don’t play around in serious combat situations, and we even developed a little bit of respect for you.”

Jensen tilts his head doubtfully at the last statement. “Seriously?”

Pooch slams his head into the potatoes and laughs. “Nope, you’re still the loser in a group of losers.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Cougar wakes up, everyone immediately stops what they’re doing to drive over to the hospital. Roque is already there, grinning brightly as the others pile in, stunned into awed silence at the weak smile of their friend.

“Glad to have you back, Cougar,” Clay greets quietly, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I couldn’t leave you guys defenseless for much longer,” Cougar jokes, and everyone releases the breaths they didn’t realize they were holding.

Jensen hangs back quietly, letting Cougar warm up and get comfortable with everyone again. He starts to back away slowly when Cougar peers around Pooch and raises a hand.

“Where are you trying to sneak off to? Got more people to shoot?”

Jensen fumbles for his words senselessly before Cougar laughs it off. “I’m just fuckin with ya. Besides, I figure I deserve it.”

“You’re damn right, you deserve it,” Clay grumbles. “I gave you orders not to go after him.”

Cougar shrugs. “It was the heat of the moment, boss.”

Jensen looks dumbstruck for a moment. “Wait, so you’re not mad?”

Cougar’s face blanks. “I disobeyed an order; this is what it looks like when you do.” He gestures to his bandaged ribs and winces.

Jensen exhales dramatically, the weight of guilt finally off his shoulders. “Well in that case, you need to get your ass out of bed, Cougs. I’m getting bored here. There’s nothing to do in Kileen!”

“Kileen?” Cougar looks to Roque for confirmation, and groans when he gets it. “Just knock me back out then.”

Cougar’s discharged from the hospital within the week, and in less than two weeks, they’re sent on a mission.

That’s when Bolivia happens.

Jensen feels completely at loss; he never had a chance to properly make things up with Cougar after their little spat, and then reconnect after nearly losing him. Now the deaths of those children hang over them, their old identities detrimental to their survival.

He watches wordlessly as Cougar and everyone else puts on a strong face, and tries not to take it too personally when Cougar chooses to spend more time with Pooch than him. He really tries not to take it personally when Cougar stops talking unless to alert Clay or crack a joke with Pooch.

Jensen spends time by himself, offering his services as tech support for what few citizens have functioning computers in this small town. He forces himself to not think about everything before their last mission, and how the American papers are calling it an unfortunate case of “friendly fire.”

Jensen snorts as he solders a few pieces of circuitry together. _There’s no such thing._

Eventually, he learns to accept being alone for the most part. Of course, he’s not _really_ alone, but for all intents and purposes, he is. Cougar has his own room in a cheap motel near the doll factory, and he brings women in and out of it all the time. Jensen, on the other hand, brings in discarded pieces of computer hardware.

“You’re not useless to me,” he says quietly as he unscrews a CPU. “You’re not trash. You may have been tossed out, but you’re not trash.”

“Are you talking about the computer or us,” Roque says from the doorway behind him, and Jensen jumps, nearly knocking the unit to the floor.

“Christ, Roque, how long have you been standing there?” Jensen sets his new project on the floor and shifts on the bed to face Roque completely. “Are you looking for Cougar? Because this is the wrong floor.”

“No, I’m looking for you, dumbass. I’m not stupid,” Roque steps in, closing the door behind him. After a quick sweep of the small, cluttered room, Roque says, “You’ve been avoiding everyone.”

Jensen’s face twists in confusion. “No I haven’t! I’ve just been really busy, picking up extra work here and there…”

Roque sits on the bed and chuckles. “Yeah, I can tell. Is everything cool between you and Cougar?”

Jensen stiffens. “I don’t know, bro. I never really got the chance to mend that bridge again what with so much happening so quickly.”

“Yeah, we do keep busy, don’t we?” Roque offers a smile, but frowns when Jensen doesn’t return it. “Look at me, Jensen. You and Cougar had something, and it didn’t end well. I don’t really care, but you need to understand something about Cougar.”

“He’s a cold sunovabitch. What’s there to understand? He likes his women like he likes his liquor: brown, strong, and leaving him in the morning.”

Roque laughs, and Jensen finally smiles. “Yeah, he’s pretty easy to read from the outside. But you’ve been avoiding him. Why is that?”

“He doesn’t want to be around me, so I just…put myself elsewhere.” Jensen shrugs, flipping a screwdriver in his hand.

“Bro, Cougar’s not…look. When we get stressed out, Clay and I take comfort in each other.” When Jensen raises a surprised eyebrow, Roque quickly clarifies. “I don’t mean that we fuck or whatever, but sometimes you need to be around someone who can offer you physical comfort and it has to be someone you trust. Our work gets tiring pretty damn quickly, and Pooch is lucky, because when he gets overwhelmed, he can just grab his ring and keep it moving. The rest of us, not so much. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Jensen shakes his head.

Sighing, Roque continues. “Okay. Who initiated it between you two?”

Jensen thinks for a second before replying, “Cougar.”

“What mission were we in the middle of?”

“Uh, Colombia?”

“And that was pretty rough at points, wasn’t it?”

“It was…” The realization dawns on Jensen, and he slaps his forehead. “I shouldn’t be avoiding him right now, huh?”

Roque starts to agree, but stops himself. “But here’s the issue: Cougar doesn’t like intimacy. He needs it, but he will never admit. He clung to you because you’re pretty damn girly when you feel it.”

“Hey!” Jensen snaps. “I resent that comment!”

Roque just shrugs. “Whatever bro. All I know is you were the bitch in that relationship. And Cougar broke it off when he wasn’t stressed anymore. You guys didn’t have anything; it was pressure…sex.” Roque says the words like they’re foreign, but he sits up and claps his hands in finality.

“Well, I’ve explained it all to you. Now, you can choose to go build that bridge back, or you can keep feeling sorry for yourself.” He begins to leave the bed, but Jensen pulls him back by the arm.

“Uh, what exactly do you suggest I do? Like, what do you and Clay do? How do you even go about initiating something like that and _not_ have feelings?”

Roque leans back against the pillows and holds his arm open for Jensen to lean into. Once he’s snuggled down into Roque’s side, face pressed against his neck, Roque runs his other hand through Jensen’s hair. They sit like that for a few moments, Roque scratching Jensen’s head as Jensen tries his best not to moan into Roque’s skin.

“What do you need?” Roque asks quietly, never ceasing the soothing movements through Jensen’s hair for a moment.

Jensen presses closer to Roque, breath hot against his neck. He mumbles incoherently, but rocks his hips against Roque’s thigh. Roque tries not to look at Jensen’s face, knowing the risk of growing attached. Instead, he focuses on scratching Jensen’s head with his other hand, still holding him, and using his now freed hand to unfasten Jensen’s pants. He gets the fly undone and slides his hand beneath the fabric, tentatively wrapping his hand around the hardening flesh and pulling it out.

Roque hushes Jensen’s throaty moans, holding him tighter as his hand begins to move.

“Shh, relax. Just let me take care of you,” Roque mutters, turning his head finally to watch Jensen’s expression.

His eyes are blissfully shut, mouth slightly agape as Roque continues to work him, letting out breathy moans as he thrusts into Roque’s fist. Impulsively, Jensen grabs onto Roque’s shirt with both hands, and opens his eyes, leaning back to properly see the expression on Roque’s face.

His brow is furrowed in deep concentration, but Roque catches Jensen’s gaze and blinks unsurely as his breath hitches. He can understand why Cougar would try to distance himself from Jensen. Jensen has this air of comfortable _need_ to him, something deeply intimate that would only get in the way of getting work done.

Roque shuts his eyes and tries to focus on bringing Jensen to climax, but even as he does, he feels the flick of Jensen’s tongue against his lips, and it’s all he can do to not pin him down and fuck him through the mattress. Roque growls, and nips Jensen’s tongue, sucking it into his own mouth and lavishing it in lust and greed. Jensen moans and bucks into Roque’s fist, clutching tighter to Roque’s body as he tries to get closer to orgasm.

In the back of his head, Roque knows he’s taking it too far, and if he isn’t careful, he’s going to end up hurting Jensen the way Cougar did. Still, he can’t bring himself to pull away from those plump lips that suck so hungrily on his tongue. Jensen’s entire body stiffens, his breathing hitching when he comes, and Roque calmly talks him through it, coaxing every last drop of semen out of him.

Jensen opens his eyes and leans away from Roque, trying to catch his breath. “So…this is normal?”

Roque wipes his hand on Jensen’s pants. “As normal as people like us will ever get.”

“Then I should go talk to Cougar…” Jensen trails off. He looks back at Roque and asks, “Feelings are bad, right?”

Roque shrugs. “In our line of work, feelings are the worst. That’s how people get compromised. You and Pooch have families, and they’re already in danger just because of what’s happened. What we do…we’re just friends who help each other out. Don’t make it more than what it is; that’s what happened to you, and Cougar paid for it.”

Jensen blushes. “I thought – “

“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that he has to now sleep around and risk picking up more diseases than a doctor’s scalpel just because you’re acting like a little bitch.” Roque gets up and leaves Jensen to his thoughts.

Jensen remains on the bed, thinking over what just Roque just told him. This is quickly becoming more complicated than he intended; he thought that leaving Cougar alone would fix the problem, but in doing so…

 

 

He jumps off the bed and reaches for the room key. The night is still young; he can still fix this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY for not updating this sooner; I literally had the last chapter half-completed, but then my personal life went ass up and Star Trek happened.
> 
> Like, I feel bad, I really do, but I was also stumped with how to finish the story. I had the first half written, but didn't know how to end it and I didn't want to rush it because this is a gift fic.

When Cougar wakes up, everyone immediately stops what they’re doing to drive over to the hospital. Roque is already there, grinning brightly as the others pile in, stunned into awed silence at the weak smile of their friend.

“Glad to have you back, Cougar,” Clay greets quietly, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I couldn’t leave you guys defenseless for much longer,” Cougar jokes, and everyone releases the breaths they didn’t realize they were holding.

Jensen hangs back quietly, letting Cougar warm up and get comfortable with everyone again. He starts to back away slowly when Cougar peers around Pooch and raises a hand.

“Where are you trying to sneak off to? Got more people to shoot?”

Jensen fumbles for his words senselessly before Cougar laughs it off. “I’m just fuckin with ya. Besides, I figure I deserve it.”

“You’re damn right, you deserve it,” Clay grumbles. “I gave you orders not to go after him.”

Cougar shrugs. “It was the heat of the moment, boss.”

Jensen looks dumbstruck for a moment. “Wait, so you’re not mad?”

Cougar’s face blanks. “I disobeyed an order; this is what it looks like when you do.” He gestures to his bandaged ribs and winces.

Jensen exhales dramatically, the weight of guilt finally off his shoulders. “Well in that case, you need to get your ass out of bed, Cougs. I’m getting bored here. There’s nothing to do in Kileen!”

“Kileen?” Cougar looks to Roque for confirmation, and groans when he gets it. “Just knock me back out then.”

Cougar’s discharged from the hospital within the week, and in less than seventy two hours, they’re sent on a mission.

That’s when Bolivia happens.

Jensen feels completely at loss; he never had a chance to properly make things up with Cougar after their little spat, and then reconnect after nearly losing him. Now the deaths of those children hang over them, their old identities detrimental to their survival.

He watches wordlessly as Cougar and everyone else puts on a strong face, and tries not to take it too personally when Cougar chooses to spend more time with Pooch than him. He really tries not to take it personally when Cougar stops talking unless to alert Clay or crack a joke with Pooch.

Jensen spends time by himself, offering his services as tech support for what few citizens have functioning computers in this small town. He forces himself to not think about everything before their last mission, and how the American papers are calling it an unfortunate case of “friendly fire.”

Jensen snorts as he solders a few pieces of circuitry together. _There’s no such thing._

Eventually, he learns to accept being alone for the most part. Of course, he’s not _really_ alone, but for all intents and purposes, he is. Cougar has his own room in a cheap motel near the doll factory, and he brings women in and out of it all the time. Jensen, on the other hand, brings in discarded pieces of computer hardware.

“You’re not useless to me,” he says quietly as he unscrews a CPU. “You’re not trash. You may have been tossed out, but you’re not trash.”

“Are you talking about the computer or us,” Roque says from the doorway behind him, and Jensen jumps, nearly knocking the unit to the floor.

“Christ, Roque, how long have you been standing there?” Jensen sets his new project on the floor and shifts on the bed to face Roque completely. “Are you looking for Cougar? Because this is the wrong floor.”

“No, I’m looking for you, dumbass. I’m not stupid,” Roque steps in, closing the door behind him. After a quick sweep of the small, cluttered room, Roque says, “You’ve been avoiding everyone.”

Jensen’s face twists in confusion. “No I haven’t! I’ve just been really busy, picking up extra work here and there…”

Roque sits on the bed and chuckles. “Yeah, I can tell. Is everything cool between you and Cougar?”

Jensen stiffens. “I don’t know, bro. I never really got the chance to mend that bridge again what with so much happening so quickly.”

“Yeah, we do keep busy, don’t we?” Roque offers a smile, but frowns when Jensen doesn’t return it. “Look at me, Jensen. You and Cougar had something, and it didn’t end well. I don’t really care, but you need to understand something about Cougar.”

“He’s a cold sunovabitch. What’s there to understand? He likes his women like he likes his liquor: brown, strong, and leaving him in the morning.”

Roque laughs, and Jensen finally smiles. “Yeah, he’s pretty easy to read from the outside. But you’ve been avoiding him. Why is that?”

“He doesn’t want to be around me, so I just…put myself elsewhere.” Jensen shrugs, flipping a screwdriver in his hand.

“Bro, Cougar’s not…look. When we get stressed out, Clay and I take comfort in each other.” When Jensen raises a surprised eyebrow, Roque quickly clarifies. “I don’t mean that we fuck or whatever, but sometimes you need to be around someone who can offer you physical comfort and it has to be someone you trust. Our work gets tiring pretty damn quickly, and Pooch is lucky, because when he gets overwhelmed, he can just grab his ring and keep it moving. The rest of us, not so much. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Jensen shakes his head.

Sighing, Roque continues. “Okay. Who initiated it between you two?”

Jensen thinks for a second before replying, “Cougar.”

“What mission were we in the middle of?”

“Uh, Columbia?”

“And that was pretty rough at points, wasn’t it?”

“It was…” The realization dawns on Jensen, and he slaps his forehead. “I shouldn’t be avoiding him right now, huh?”

Roque starts to agree, but stops himself. “But here’s the issue: Cougar doesn’t like intimacy. He needs it, but he will never admit. He clung to you because you’re pretty damn girly when you feel it.”

“Hey!” Jensen snaps. “I resent that comment!”

Roque just shrugs. “Whatever. All I know is you were the bitch in that relationship. And Cougar broke it off when he wasn’t stressed anymore. You guys didn’t have anything; it was pressure…sex.” Roque says the words like they’re foreign, but he sits up and claps his hands in finality.

“Well, I’ve explained it all to you. Now, you can choose to go build that bridge back, or you can keep feeling sorry for yourself.” He begins to leave the bed, but Jensen pulls him back by the arm.

“Uh, what exactly do you suggest I do? Like, what do you and Clay do? How do you even go about initiating something like that and _not_ have feelings?”

Roque leans back against the pillows and holds his arm open for Jensen to lean into. Once he’s snuggled down into Roque’s side, face pressed against his neck, Roque runs his other hand through Jensen’s hair. They sit like that for a few moments, Roque scratching Jensen’s head as Jensen tries his best not to moan into Roque’s skin.

“What do you need?” Roque asks quietly, never ceasing the soothing movements through Jensen’s hair for a moment.

Jensen presses closer to Roque, breath hot against his neck. He mumbles incoherently, but rocks his hips against Roque’s thigh. Roque tries not to look at Jensen’s face, knowing the risk of growing attached. Instead, he focuses on scratching Jensen’s head with his other hand, still holding him, and using his now freed hand to unfasten Jensen’s pants. He gets the fly undone and slides his hand beneath the fabric, tentatively wrapping his hand around the hardening flesh and pulling it out.

Roque hushes Jensen’s throaty moans, holding him tighter as his hand begins to move.

“Shh, relax. Just let me take care of you,” Roque mutters, turning his head finally to watch Jensen’s expression.

His eyes are blissfully shut, mouth slightly agape as Roque continues to work him, letting out breathy moans as he thrusts into Roque’s fist. Impulsively, Jensen grabs onto Roque’s shirt with both hands, and opens his eyes, leaning back to properly see the expression on Roque’s face.

His brow is furrowed in deep concentration, but Roque catches Jensen’s gaze and blinks unsurely as his breath hitches. He can understand why Cougar would try to distance himself from Jensen. Jensen has this air of comfortable _need_ to him, something deeply intimate that would only get in the way of getting work done.

Roque shuts his eyes and tries to focus on bringing Jensen to climax, but even as he does, he feels the flick of Jensen’s tongue against his lips, and it’s all he can do to not pin him down and fuck him through the mattress. Roque growls, and nips Jensen’s tongue, sucking it into his own mouth and lavishing it in lust and greed. Jensen moans and bucks into Roque’s fist, clutching tighter to Roque’s body as he tries to get closer to orgasm.

In the back of his head, Roque knows he’s taking it too far, and if he isn’t careful, he’s going to end up hurting Jensen the way Cougar did. Still, he can’t bring himself to pull away from those plump lips that suck so hungrily on his tongue. Jensen’s entire body stiffens, his breathing hitching when he comes, and Roque calmly talks him through it, coaxing every last drop of semen out of him.

Jensen opens his eyes and leans away from Roque, trying to catch his breath. “So…this is normal?”

Roque wipes his hand on Jensen’s pants. “As normal as people like us will ever get.”

“Then I should go talk to Cougar…” Jensen trails off. He looks back at Roque and asks, “Feelings are bad, right?”

Roque shrugs. “In our line of work, feelings are the worst. That’s how people get compromised. You and Pooch have families, and they’re already in danger just because of what’s happened. What we do…we’re just friends who help each other out. Don’t make it more than what it is; that’s what happened to you, and Cougar paid for it.”

Jensen blushes. “I thought – “

“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that he has to now sleep around and risk picking up more diseases than a doctor’s scalpel just because you’re acting like a little bitch.” Roque gets up and leaves Jensen to his thoughts.

Jensen remains on the bed, thinking over what just Roque just told him. This is quickly becoming more complicated than he intended; he thought that leaving Cougar alone would fix the problem, but in doing so…

He jumps off the bed and reaches for the room key. The night is still young; he can still fix this.

 

* * *

 

In a crowded, small bar, Pooch sits with Cougar as they finish their beers. Cougar had sought him out, clearly wanting to talk but not knowing how to start. Pooch didn’t press the matter; he figured that Cougar would speak when he was ready and it was already big enough that he even bothered meeting Pooch for after work drinks.

“I spoke to Roque,” Cougar begins cautiously. “Jensen has been avoiding me.”

Pooch stares into his drink thoughtfully. “That boy never knows what to say when he wants something.”

Cougar tilts his head curiously, urging Pooch to go on. Pooch sighs in disbelief that he’s even having this conversation.

“Listen. We all know you and Jensen had a thing going on and you were both on separate pages, but now Jensen’s trying to mend that by giving you your space. He thinks you’re still mad at him.”

Cougar shakes his head quickly and starts to speak, but Pooch cuts him off.

“No, listen. You can’t play with that boy’s heart like that. He didn’t grow up with positive relationships around him, to put it nicely. So he’s gonna cling to the first thing that looks like love and even remote interest. Jensen’s fresh, so he doesn’t quite get everything that goes on when we’re out in the field, but that means it’s on _you_ to inform him so he doesn’t get it twisted.” Pooch finishes off his beer and rubs his face. “Look, he’s kind of slow, even for all his skill. Social skills, not so much. If it can’t be explained in a book, he’s not going to get it unless you break it down for him.” Pooch looks past Cougar toward the door and blanches. “I’m gonna get outta here. Let me know how things go.”

Cougar turns around quickly, immediately picking out Jensen like a wine stain on a cream carpet. He spins back around and stares intensely into his empty glass, waiting for the bomb to drop.

“Cougs, how ya been man?” Jensen slaps him on the shoulder and occupies Pooch’s newly vacant seat. “What ya drinkin?”

Cougar tilts the bottle in the light so that Jensen can see the Corona label. Scrunching up his face, Jensen motions for the bartender. “Dos tiros de patron, senor!” Jensen focuses back on Cougar, giving him an easy smile.

“It’s funny; we work together, but we don’t spend much time together, do we?”

Cougar shrugs indifferently, and casts a questioning side glance in Jensen’s direction.

“I have better stuff back at my room, Cougs. You don’t have to sit here with the plebs when you could be drinking the nectar of the gods.” The bartender slides over their shots, and Jensen puts the money down on the bar. He raises one for a toast and motions for Cougar to do the same.

“To really fucked up situations!” Jensen laughs somewhat bitterly. Cougar raises an eyebrow, but takes the shot and follows Jensen back to his hotel room anyways.

As they walk through the dimly lit streets full of people, Cougar notices a sort of energy radiating from Jensen. He’s practically bouncing on the balls of his toes, shoulders tense, but eyes bright and mischievous behind those glasses.

Usually, Cougar would be concerned that Jensen’s about to do something really stupid when he’s acting like this.

As soon as they get in the room, Cougar’s suspicions are confirmed.

Jake slams him into the door and kisses him roughly, but something about the way his hands tremble as they press Cougar into the door makes him more worried than angry. Carefully, Cougar rubs his hands along Jensen’s sides until he’s able to slow down and take a deep breath. Cougar tries to meet his eyes, but Jensen stubbornly keeps them shut.

“Hey,” Cougar whispers, “Look.”

Jensen peeks an eye open.

“You want this?”

Jensen laughs nervously and shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me.”

Jensen finally releases Cougar from the door and begins pacing around the room, explaining in animated detail about what sounds like an introspective identity crisis. Cougar stands patiently by the bed as Jensen says things like “mutual” and “no strings attached.” He sounds like he learned a lot of words, but doesn’t actually understand their meanings. In any other situation, this would be funny, but it’s clear that this is stressing Jensen out, and _that_ stresses Cougar out. Because even though it's been forever since they were last intimate, he still feels connected to Jensen in certain ways, ways that go beyond a close friendship. He hates seeing Jensen hurting, even when he deserves it, and he hates being the cause of Jensen's suffering. That's what hurt the most when Cougar ended things - how Jensen turned into someone completely different to protect himself. Cougar has never been good with his words, not then, and definitely not now that he hardly speaks. It's easier to mess things up when he speaks, but that was the problem: they both wanted to speak, and neither wanted to listen. Now, Cougar listens, and he can hear all the fears and insecurities in Jensen's voice, all the plans and scenarios for in case things don't go his way and he needs to save face.

“I know we don’t have a conventional lifestyle so we wouldn’t have a conventional relationship, but you know, we could figure something out where both of us act like nothing is wrong and nothing actually _is_ wrong, I mean, if you’re even still attracted to me at all, which I don’t know why you would be when – “

“Jensen.”

Jensen comes to a complete standstill. Cougar smirks to himself; he’s still the only person who can calm Jensen with just his own name, no threats, no promises. He motions for Jensen to sit down on the bed and folds his arms across his chest.

“Explain, slowly. Listen to yourself.”

Jensen just groans and falls back on the bed, covering his face. “Cougar, I just spent the past ten minutes explaining myself.”

“But you did not listen.”

“Well…” Jensen trails off. He drops his hands by his side and stares up at Cougar. “We don’t have much stability in our lives, do we?”

Cougar shakes his head.

“Okay, so it’s always nice to have a fixed point to latch onto, something that anchors you when everything gets to be too much. We’re all friends and that kinda helps, but not all the time, right?”

Cougar smiles, nodding his head.

“And we’re all fuck ups who can’t make promises, so we don’t do promises or follow the rules.”

Slowly, Cougar climbs onto the bed, nudging Jensen’s legs apart with his knees. When Jensen’s breath hitches, he motions for Jensen to keep talking, even as Cougar slowly begins to unzip his pants.

“Uh, well, we depend on each other in different…ways…I gotta tell you, Cougs, it’s hard to focus when you’re – _fuck._ ” Jensen’s eyes flutter shut as his hands clutch at the comforter. Cougar’s tongue trails along the underside of Jensen’s cock, even as he smacks Jensen’s thigh sharply to keep him talking.

Jensen groans in annoyance and pleasure, but tries to force the words out. “I know you’re not a commitment kind of guy, and that’s fine; I think Pooch is the only one who is, but he was married before he joined. And I’m horribly flaky and have the emotional maturity of a teenage boy, and – _shit_ , Cougar,” Jensen keens, rolling his hips up into Cougar’s mouth. “Can I please shut up?”

Getting Jensen to beg to stop talking is one of Cougar’s favorite things. He had missed it once they’d stopped…whatever this undefined thing between them is. Cougar sucks harder and drags his teeth across the tip of Jensen’s cock.

“Ugh, fine. I hate you so much,” Jensen laughs breathlessly. “I don’t want to change anything you don’t want to, but can we keep doing this again? I don’t even care who else you sleep with, as long as I don’t get the clap, I mean.”

Cougar pulls off and climbs up Jensen to stop anymore words from falling forth with a kiss. He keeps his hand wrapped around Jensen’s erection, stroking quickly as he sucks on Jensen’s lip. It’s sloppy and far too fast, but Cougar doesn’t deal in words anymore.

“You shot me,” Cougar mumbles against Jensen’s mouth, even as his eyes close, orgasm rolling up on him.

Jensen makes a confused noise, but Cougar just jerks his hand harder, and Jensen is whimpering, bucking underneath Cougar as he releases his load in between them.

“You shot me, and I was not mad,” Cougar continues.

Panting, Jensen twists his face in confusion. “I don’t get it; you want an open relationship because I shot you? Would I qualify for a closed one if I hadn’t?”

“No, you misunderstand,” Cougar sighs. “I want this…you…”

“But not all the time?” Jensen smiles sadly. “It’s alright, I know.”

Cougar smacks Jensen lightly on the face and clucks his tongue. “You don’t listen.”

Jensen stares up at him, dumbfounded.

“I…want… _you._ ”

Something about the intensity in Cougar’s gaze, the inflection in his voice, makes Jensen realize the gravity of his words. Cougar can’t fight the blossoming feeling of affection spreading through him as his words finally begin to dawn on Jensen. His eyes grow wide behind the glasses, and a slow smile reaches his ears.

“Aw, Cougs! You love me! You really love me!” Jensen wraps his arms around Cougar’s waist and rolls them so that he’s pinning Cougar to the bed. Cougar fights back half-heartedly, mostly smacking Jensen on the head and muttering under his breath, “ _Idiota_.”

“Yep, but now I’m _your_ idiot and everyone on this floor is gonna know it by the end of the night.” Jensen’s voice drops as he swoops in to steal an amused kiss from Cougar.

This is new. This is strange. Cougar’s still not sure how they’re going to make it work, or if it’ll work at all, but what kind of soldiers would they be if they couldn’t adapt to changes?


End file.
